Ways I’ve lost sunglasses
- Blown off my face in a strong Wellington gust at the corner of Adelaide and Riddiford, then run over by a van, and then several other cars, ground into polarised dust
- Fallen off the top of my head into a wretched, neglected beachfront public toilet – technically not lost, but sitting in someone else’s toilet water, essentially dead to me
- Left on a toilet paper dispenser at another wretched public toilet, then forgotten (went back to get them but gone) – ironically, I was trying to avoid the fate of the glasses from the previous point
- Stolen by a burglar, who, likely disappointed at the lack of high-end electronics or jewellery, probably figured he/she may as well grab some decent sunnies
- Smashed on the top of my head when the boot of the car fell down on my head while unloading someone else’s ski gear up the mountain
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