Pet names that were in the running but which we eventually decided against

Note: This is a not list of relationship pet names (eg cherry pie). That would be an entirely different kind of list. Referring to actual domesticated animals here.

These are from a HUGE list of names, for both our cat and dog, which was full of any and all suggestions from everyone in the family. The actual pet names we went with: Teddy (retrodoodle – yes, it’s a real breed), Wanda (black oriental shorthair), Mango (orange oriental shorthair).

• Phoenix: A great name for a kitten that the whole family liked. Mythical vibes. Harry Potter vibes. A pretty epic association for a pet – a creature that can die and literally rise from its own ashes. But: A friend of my son’s friend was also called Phoenix, and it seemed a little awkward to assign a name to a pet already in use by an acquaintance.
• Boplick: A random word that my daughter came up with as a kitten-name idea that made us all laugh, and seemed so weird and novel we thought it perfect. Someone we knew did a Google search for it, however, and informed us that the word is already in use. In the world of porn.
• Laser: Neko and I were all for either a dog or cat called Laser. A zippy, zappy creature straight out of a sci-fi or superhero graphic novel. Vic wasn’t sure about calling out the name across the neighbourhood when summoning said pet for dinner.
• Mando mando: What better way to start than to establish a pet name that already has its own theme song? A catchy, infectious one that we have heard (in our household) again and again and again.
• King Doggie: I mean, we just couldn’t imagine ourselves calling this out across the park with a straight face. You also need to think about how a polysyllabic name might get abbreviated.
• Ear-hang-down: This was our daughter’s favourite, and she lobbied for it pretty hard. Because: “He has floppy ears.”
• Momo: Cute, because it’s Japanese for peach, but sinister because it’s also the character at the centre of some internet horror myth manufactured to scare the living daylights out of children.
• Wolfbeast: Look, as a fan of Game of Thrones, I liked this suggestion from Neko, but ultimately it was vetoed. The kind of name you might print ironically on the outside of your fence, to put meter readers and posties at ease: “Don’t worry. WOLFBEAST doesn’t bite.”