“Oh, I just love my dog. I just want to cuddle my dog.” As touching as this sentiment is, I can’t help but notice that at any other time you just ignore the dog.
“I need to say goodnight to Mum. Night Mum!” Okay, great. Let’s get to the sleeping part now.
“It’s too dark.” Okay, my child, but just so you know, there’s already the level of ambient light you might expect of mid-morning.
“It’s too bright.” Well, this runs counter to your previous complaint. Which is why I made it brighter.
“I had a bad dream.” No, sweet one, you haven’t even gone to sleep yet.
“I just thought of something scary.” Okay, I’m here for you. But I just want to point out that I read Jumanji to you a year ago, and only now, out of the blue, are you telling me it’s terrifying to you.
“I’m thirsty.” Sure. Maybe you could just go get a drink yourself? Okay, okay, fine. I’ll get you a drink.
“I need to go toilet.” Fine, just go. Probably has something to do with the huge drink you just had. Maybe have a drink during the day from time to time?
“I need to say goodnight to Mum too. In here.” But you just did say goodnight to Mum, ten minutes ago.
“I’m so tired.” I know, sweet child. That’s the problem we’re currently trying to address.
“I can’t sleep.” You absolutely can. I’ve seen you do it, plenty.
“The dog’s in my bed.” Well, you did say earlier that’s what you wanted. He probably heard you.