#71 🛻 DRIVE on through to the other side 🎾

Richard Allardice -

In brief 🩲

  • Journal: The ugliest faded tennis ball of a car you can imagine
  • Read: Never build the Homer car
  • Practical: Procrastination is a beast
  • Art: Psychedelic tick-tock-apocalypse

From the journal 📖

We did it. We brought the ugliest car in the world: the 2016 Toyota Sienta. Now, to be fair: it functions well. It’s a hybrid car that runs on the Electricity around town instead of the Petrol, which makes it a zillion times cheaper than our last grunty fuel hog. It charges itself when the car slows down (I’m new to electric vehicles: this stills seems remarkable to me). It has a display that makes staying in electric-vehicle mode feel like a video game. It has heated seats, with both low and high settings, for extra-cold butts.

But man, is it ugly. There are weird contours and strange in-line details, which make it look like the metal panels have been pulled into an exploded diagram... and just left there. Now, to be fair, again: much of its ugliness comes down to the colour. Which we chose. Like a cheap glow-in-the-dark yo-yo. Like a lemon with food poisoning. Like a discarded, sun-bleached tennis ball. But! We got a sizeable ugly discount. This ol’ tennis ball was thousands of dollars cheaper than other 2016 Toyota Sientas identical in all ways except the colour. And! No one will miss us. We’re the most visible car on the road. And we will never lose this thing in a large carpark. It is a beacon.